Gratitude: Beyond the Feast, Beyond the Journal

As Canadian Thanksgiving approaches this weekend, Emily chats  about extending your gratitude beyond the holiday! What impact does expressing your gratitude have on your overall wellbeing? This episode gives some suggestions on how to make your gratitude practise more of a 'way of life', rather than another task to check off once you've pulled out a journal and a pen each day. It ends with a #GratitudeForJoy challenge that will guide and amplify your thankfulness over the next 30 days! Be sure to keep your eye out for this challenge on The Joyful Flamingo's social platforms!

Time Stamps:
0:43 - Intro
3:40 - Beyond the feast and beyond the journal - what does this mean?
6:55 - Why expressing our gratitude daily is so impactful for our overall health
10:15 - What’s the missing piece?
11:30 - How to use habit stacking
17:02 - Gratitude mantras, cue the eye roll!
18:43 - How to get your kids on board
20:00 - NOTICE the Thank You's you say throughout the day
22:14 - Don’t delay it - - share your thankfulness in the moment you feel it
23:45 - Be mindful of the language you’re using
25:05 - Don’t overthink it
26:16 - 30 Day Gratitude for Joy Challenge
27:58 - Outro
29:33 - Disclaimer

**We couldn't upload a picture into show notes, so keep your eyes peeled on my FB and IG accounts for the 30 Day #GratitudeForJoy Challenge!

Resources Used for this Episode:

How to Practice Gratitude - Mindful
Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier - Harvard Health

Connect with Emily:

On The Gram - @thejoyfulflamingo https://www.instagram.com/thejoyfulflamingo/

For Collaborations - thejoyfulflamingo@gmail.com

The Joyful Flamingo Podcast is produced by jpvoiceovers.
You can find them here : jpvoiceovers

*DISCLAIMER*
Just a reminder, that I am not a medical or psychological professional. Each one of my episodes has been inspired by my own experience and journey through life and is brought to you through my own opinions and my own lens. Any suggestions or advice offered here do not substitute proper conversations with your own healthcare professionals for either your physical or mental wellbeing.

Transcript

With Thanksgiving coming up, gratitude is at the forefront of our minds. But what if
we learned to practice thankfulness beyond the feast, and even beyond the act of
keeping a gratitude journal? What if instead we established something that was just
easily woven throughout each and every day? Don't you think we'd be more joyful?
Don't you think we'd spread it on to others? That's what Today show is all about
it's about why developing a sense of gratitude as a habit that becomes hard not to
continue on with can be so powerful and how to do that beyond just what's coming
up this weekend. So here we go. Fluckies, let's get grateful.
Well, hey there friend and welcome to the joyful flamingo podcast. I'm your host
Emily Schreiber and I am obsessed with empowering women to tune into themselves,
to zoom in on their own well -being, so in turn they can lead their most vibrant,
aligned, and joyful lives. I want to create a tsunami of self -discovered,
self -loved, and self -understood women to show up in this world unapologetically and
joyfully and to pass the torch on for generations to come. If any of that feels
aligned with your vibe stick around, I'm so glad you're here. Now,
let's go find our joy.
Hey, hey, hey, joyful flamingo flock. How the heck are ya? Oh, it's my favorite
month of the year. Who would ever honestly want to live in a world without
October's? October is my favorite. Is anybody else just in love with this season.
I mean fall in and of itself is beautiful and I don't know if you know in October
it's the crisp air or the colorful leaves or the yummy spiced treats or the fact
that Thanksgiving is smudged in there and it's my favorite holiday, but truly a cozy
fall October day with a blanket, a big sweater, some wool socks and a tea,
it basically can't be beat in my books. I love, love, love October. So here we
are, welcome to October. And for all of us Flockies in Canada, we're in the week
leading up to our Thanksgiving weekend. I know that that's not the case for
Americans, but for those of us that are Canadians, we're gearing up for it. And
this time of year always makes us more mindful of the things that we're grateful
for. And I am feeling so thankful for so many things. You know, another amazing
season of the podcast is well underway. We've got loads of new listeners, some
really rad guests lined up for the year. Lots of really cool things coming up in
my personal life. Our first ever flock retreat coming up in just a few weeks with
12 amazing women who are going to come together for a day of connection and joy
and wellness and laughter. And then, you know, there's my Reasing family,
my incredible friends, our daughter's transitions into school going well this year. I
mean, the list goes on and on and on, and I feel so grateful that we have this
upcoming weekend to really take time to focus on recognizing and sharing that
gratitude that we feel not only with ourselves, but also with our loved ones, and
usually over some sort of beautiful feast, and some quality time spent together. And
I think that's the reason why this holiday tends to be my favorite, because of what
it represents truly. It's a specific time to just relish in the joy that we have
in our lives. That plus the fact that it falls in October means everything to me.
I know you've heard this before. I know you have, that gratitude has to go beyond
this weekend, what I'm calling beyond the feast and even beyond the journal and I'm
adding that piece in here because I think maybe you don't know what I mean when I
say that but really what I'm talking about is when we think of being thankful at
this time if you're automatically Thanksgiving pups into our heads when we talk about
expressing gratitude at any time of the year I think the main thing that many of
us automatically associate or vision is sitting down in a quiet spot with a candle
burning, a hot drink in our hands, a journal, like a beautiful journal from Kohl's
or something, right? And a pen spilling our life out onto paper. And while both of
these things, you know, the Thanksgiving weekend and a gratitude journal are great to
continue doing for time to come, the truth of the matter is it's got to be more
than that. It really truly has to be deeper than that. We've got to go beyond the
feast and we've got to go beyond the journal. So I thought what better week to
talk about this topic, to discuss the power of gratitude in your life as a whole
and how to give thanks to everything around you and how to show that gratitude on
the other 64 days of the year. While it's already at the forefront of our minds,
let's zoom in on it. Let's give it a little extra tender loving care,
a little bit more of our time and focus on it so that we can keep it going past
this coming weekend. Let's start by addressing the idea of a gratitude journal
because I know that there are people out there who are mad gratitude journal
fanatics, people who do it every single day religiously. And I am by
habits that you can get into to bring about as much joy as possible so I know
that keeping a gratitude journal can be a really amazing practice for yourself but I
also know this truth and that is the fact that I know there are many of us
including me sometimes who feel like getting into the habit of sitting down and
writing a gratitude journal on the daily feels like an added task that is impossible
to keep up with. I get that. I go in and out of waves of being able to keep up
with mine and just like anything in life we can sometimes feel overwhelmed by all
the things we want to get done in a day. And so I wanted to take this idea of
conveying our thanks, our appreciation, our gratitude for the things in our life on
a regular basis and I wanted to make it a bit more accessible because there is
incredible value to it and it really can be so simple and so easy.
Let's start here. Why is expressing your gratitude daily so vital to your overall
joy as a human and even your overall health? Let's start by discussing the why And
then we can chat about the how and how we can make it more effortless for
ourselves. There's really a couple of theories about the science behind why practicing
gratitude is so influential for us. The first is that in the process of expressing
your gratitude, people are able to see that the source of that gratitude, the source
of that goodness, sometimes lies within ourselves. But we can also see that it
sometimes lies outside of ourselves. As a result, being grateful actually helps us as
people connect to ourselves on a deeper level. Also, helps us connect to something
larger than ourselves as individuals. And I think that when people feel really
connected to something larger than themselves, it gives more meaning, purpose,
value to their lives and so I think that's one of the reasons why expressing
gratitude is so influential to our overall well -being. Secondly, it's really this
idea of what you focus on grows. We've talked about this before here at the pod
and let me highlight it with a study that I found. So there was this study that
was run out at the University of Miami and they basically asked a group of people
to write a few sentences each week And each group was focusing on particular topics.
So one group wrote about things that they were grateful for that had occurred during
the week. The second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had
displeased them. And the third group wrote about events that had affected them,
but with no emphasis on them being positive or negative. After those 10 weeks, I
can imagine that you know what happened. But just in case you don't, those who
wrote about gratitude were way more optimistic and felt generally better about their
lives overall. Surprisingly, they also ended up exercising more. I found this really
interesting. And they were noted to have fewer visits to physicians than those who
focused on sources of aggravation. That study really showed me the concept that what
you focus on grows. If you're constantly thinking about what's annoying you, how you
were slighted today, what's coming up that you're dreading, et cetera, more of those
things come into your lens of awareness and therefore more of those things seem to
happen for you. Am I right? Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything
is going wrong and you're like, why is everything going wrong? And then when you
really step back, you're like, "Oh, that's why everything is going wrong." And the
opposite is also true, right? When you devote time each and every day to focusing
on all the good that's happening in your life, that energetic vibration that you're
putting out into the universe then creates even more of those things. Gratitude is
strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. It helps people feel more
positive emotions, relish in good experiences, improve their health, deal with
adversity and build really strong relationships. And all these things are great.
So great. So then why are a lot of people still not seeing the benefits from
practicing gratitude? I think it's because there's actually a level of consciousness
involved that needs to actually be there to be able to reap the benefits.
It's not just enough to just open a new page in our book every day and write
down, "I'm thankful for my hot coffee." That is how I started out my gratitude
practice. And it was a good starting spot, but it gets pretty flat pretty quick.
It's got to be more of a mindset shift. It's kind of got to be part of your
being. Again, beyond the feast, beyond the journal. It's most successful when it's a
way of life, a shift in perspective. And I think that the missing piece here is
the how we're doing it. I think that's the key factor in getting to the reaping
the benefits from it for a lot of us. I've got a couple of solid ideas to share
with you, some that I found some that it came up with on how you can incorporate
gratitude and an attitude of gratitude into your everyday life more consistently,
more seamlessly, and more habitually. A habit is defined as a settled or regular
tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. I love that part of
it, one that's hard to give up. That is a habit, eh? Like, think of coffee. If
you're a coffee drinker and it's a habit of yours that you have a coffee every
single day, how hard is it to wake up and not have your coffee? That part of it
was really intriguing to me. A habit is defined as a settled or regular tendency or
practice, especially one that's hard to give up. And a few years ago, I was
listening to this podcast by Trent Shelton, I can't remember what the title of his
podcast is, but it was about discipline and people creating habits for themselves to
see the change that they're craving in whatever area of life. For some people it
was in their health habits, for some people it was in their career advancements,
whatever it was. And Trent was explaining that so many of us feel like we lack the
discipline or the ability to create a habit of doing the things we really want to
do or doing the things that we know we need to do for ourselves. And then he
called bullshit on it. He argued that we actually all are successful at creating
habits for ourselves. He went on to give examples, things like brushing our teeth.
We do it every day. Well, at least we hope we do it every day. I thought this
was a brilliant way to illustrate it. Yes, we all have habits that we actually do
every single day we all brush our teeth, we all shower and eat and drink and go
to bed regularly, we all for the most part show up to our jobs every single day
because we know we have to, we know it's necessary, so building habits for ourselves
and sticking to them actually isn't a problem for most of us. We already as human
beings have habits entwined into our every day. And here plays out my first
suggestion for us when it comes to gratitude. We have to start habit stacking our
gratitude. Doing this at the beginning will then allow us to create a new habit. So
let me explain. If you've never heard the idea of habit stacking, you are in for a
treat because it can actually be really super useful to us. In so many ways,
even though in this specific case we're applying it to our gratitude practice, The
concept of habit stacking can be useful in all areas of life. So really it's this
idea that means taking something we've already formed as a habit, like brushing our
teeth or getting dressed or feeding ourselves breakfast, making our morning coffee,
washing our face at night, whatever it is, and then taking that already established
habit and stacking on top of it an action of else we want to create a habit for.
It's so simple and it's so effective. This puts so much more ease into creating a
more consistent state of thankfulness for ourselves. Basically, it means that every
time we brush our teeth, we can also think of one thing we're grateful for as we
are brushing. We're not having to carve out any extra time in the day. It's
happening at a time of something that we already do as a habit every single day.
Or maybe it's every time we're stirring the milk into our coffee. We say aloud
three things that we're thankful for from the day before. That is how simple habits
form. It's from repeating the same thing and doing the same thing over and over
again for about 30 days. That's the proven number. 30 days creates a habit.
And then voila, before you know it, it will be hard to not do it just like the
definition says you won't be able to not express your gratitude every time you take
your first sip of coffee in the morning. You've got to pick the base habit though
as something that works best for you. Don't just pick one from the list I just
gave you because it's from a list that I just gave you because maybe those things
aren't in green staples for you every single day of your life. Choose something that
is though And if you're having a hard time, well, I've got a really great base
habit that you can use to stack up on. And truthfully, it's the act of waking up.
I mean, it can't get more simple than that. Simply say three things you're grateful
for even before your feet hit the ground in the morning to get out of bed. So
when your alarm goes off or you open your eyes for the first time in the morning,
resist the urge to reach for your phone. Don't check your inbox. Don't scroll the
news instead briefly for legitimately 30 seconds. Think of three moments that you
were grateful for yesterday. The shower is another great place. You know, maybe it's
not every day guilty, but anytime you're in the shower and you're there for at
least a few minutes at a time, you're there when nothing else other than your mind
and your body Use that to your advantage. Habit stack gratitude on top of showering.
Soon you'll never be able to take a shower without soaking in the bliss of the
things that you love in your life. You'll be like a whole new version of the
herbal essences shampoo commercial. If you don't know what that is, I feel sorry for
you. It was a great commercial. Anyways, habit stacking, truly try it. It allows you
to form more of a way of life around your gratitude Because once that habit that
was stacked, once you get through those 30 days, then that can become a base habit.
Then that's something that can be stacked upon from because you've created that habit
over and over and over again for yourself. And then it's not a task to be checked
off each day. It's something that actually feels strange when you don't do it.
Another great way to incorporate more gratitude to your life is what's called a
gratitude mantra. And I know there's some of you that are like, oh, mantras, no
thank you, affirmations, mantras, not for me. What a mantra is is something that
you're gonna recite to yourself and your family over and over again throughout the
day. And maybe this is not your jam, but maybe it is, or maybe it can become. The
thing about mantras and affirmations though, is that they really have to feel aligned
for you. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error before you come across the
one that feels best for you. You might be saying a mantra for like three weeks and
you're like, "I just do not feel this." You're gonna have to have some trial and
error here, but if you're looking for a place to start, I found four that I
thought that's pretty general. People could use that, so here's one. I cherish the
simple joys that life shows me today, or the more I give thanks,
the more beauty unfolds before me. I love that one. Secretly, I think that's my
favorite. Or with every sunrise, my heart expands with gratitude for another day.
Or lastly, I'm grateful for the abundance of love that constantly flows towards me.
Co -create some of these with your immediate family. That can be super powerful. It
could be like a catchphrase for you and your family, something you say to each
other at meals or in the morning when you rise or at bed before you all go to
sleep or maybe on the phone when you're apart from each other. It's almost like it
could be this private language for your immediate family to just all feel connected
to each other and to appreciate all that you have as a family together. And truth
be told showing your kids the act of being grateful for everything that you do have
is something that I think a lot of kids growing up can benefit from. When we share
these acknowledgements of things we're thankful for out loud with people other than
ourselves, it can feel way more real, way more tangible for us. But it is a skill
that a lot of us need to practice and that our kids definitely need to learn.
It needs to be modeled for them. So, you know, if you're thinking of incorporating
more gratitude into your everyday life and you want to extend that by proxy to your
kids and those around you, think of habit stacking for your kids. What are routines
and structures you have every single day with them? Maybe it's dinner and bedtime or
bath time routine. Something that are part of every day act as parents with your
kids. Why not then choose to take those moments and sprinkle in a little positivity
before they hit their heads on the pillow each night? What a wonderful day to end
the evening, no?
Okay, so we've touched on habit stacking and on mantras. There's another thing you
can do to cultivate more gratitude on a daily basis. And that is to really notice
the thank yous you say throughout the day. How many times do you think we utter
those words each day without really noticing? Thank you or thanks? I want you to
stop and observe them, maybe count them for a day or two. When and why are you
saying thank you throughout the day? How much of a habitual response is it for you?
Are you saying it without actually feeling the feeling that's supposed to be attached
to it? Is it maybe a little absent -minded? I want you to do a quick scan of your
body. Are you already physically or mentally moving on to your next interaction when
you're saying those words? I can almost promise you that today, you're gonna notice
an empty thank you that you use at Once you're going to say those words, like just
immediately out of habit to someone or to something. And then you're going to go,
Oh yeah. And think of the podcast. You're going to wonder what kind of sentiment
and feelings were attached to that response. And that's a challenge for you. I
really want you to do that. And then I want you to do something else. Let's pick
one interaction each day this week, just one. And when your instinct arises to say,
thanks, let's Stop, think, and then name what it is we're actually thankful for,
maybe even beyond the simple gesture that brought it about in the first place. Let's
be more intentional with one interaction each day and notice the feeling that exudes
in us when we're saying thank you. Let's maybe give a more meaningful thank you to
somebody. Let's maybe expand on the thank you for them. Let's take the time to look
that person in the eyes and make an act of gratitude happen on purpose because
here's the thing. It's not only going to make that person that you're interacting
with feel good. You are going to feel on top of the fricking world too because
that's the thing about gratitude.
Thanksgiving has giving in it for a reason. When we give more love, we receive more
love. When we give more thanks, we receive more thanks. It's the law of attraction,
baby. So this leads me to the next suggestion, which is the moment you think of
something that you love or appreciate or even just something simple that made you
smile. Let it be known in that moment. If you're thinking of a lovely memory with
someone, share it with them, remind them of that memory so they can really relish
in it too. If you're feeling extra thankful that your partner picked up a few
groceries on the way home so that you've got milk for your coffee tomorrow, tell
them that. We've run through this life so fast that we may think the things for a
split second, but very often forget to give any more attention to them. We let them
pass by as quickly as they came to us. If we're really trying to incorporate a
state of gratitude into our being, we have to make a vow to ourselves to focus for
at least a second or two on those things that we feel when they come across our
minds. We have to relay that appreciation to others in the moment. It will go such
a long way because again it will form a habit, you'll just be used to sharing your
gratitude with others in the moment that it happens and both your relationships will
flourish because of it. Also your attitude of gratitude that you're cultivating for
yourself and your household will flourish as well. Don't delay it. Recognize it in
the moment because that is the difference between going through the steps of being
grateful versus living a grateful life. And here's my last tip.
It's really to try and be mindful of the language we use throughout the day.
Grateful people have a particular vernacular that uses the language of fortune and
abundance and gifts and blessings. It's not enough to practice gratitude on a habit
stack each day and then be a negative asshole the rest of the day. It won't
equate. It doesn't equate. Sure, Sure, are all gonna have our moments and we all
have our days or our weeks where everything seems to be rotten for us and that's
okay, that's normal. But if we can try and shift the way we speak about things on
a more regular basis, I think we'll see that what we speak about ends up changing
too. To recap on the how, how to lead a more grateful life and really have it as
part of more of your being rather than something to do every day. We talked about
habit stacking, we talked about mantras, we talked about noticing your thank yous and
zooming in on them. We talked about not delaying in a moment of recognition of
something that you're grateful for. And then lastly, we talked about being mindful of
our language. These are simple ways to become a more grateful human. Someone who
will actually reap the it's of leading a grateful life because it's become a way of
living. I do want to also talk about a barrier that you're maybe going to encounter
because I do. Hopefully this is helpful to somebody. Sometimes when I've gotten into
a bit of a monotony in my gratitude practice, I find myself needing to search for
things each morning to write down or think of. Or I find myself rewriting the same
things over and over again, like, "I am grateful for this hot coffee," you know?
The things that are visibly right in front of me are often the things that I put
down, and it's because I'm way overthinking it. Sometimes we want our gratitude to
be this like super profound and meaningful thing, but really, it doesn't need to be
either of those things to see impact. Can it be? For sure. Does it need to be?
Not necessarily. Simple pleasures, And it shows that cultivating an abundance of
thankfulness in your life doesn't have to be about the big things. It doesn't even
have to be about the unique things. I mean, it can, but it doesn't have to. It
can be about the small things, the things that otherwise would go unnoticed if we
weren't mindfully appreciative of them. Just like everything in life, finding joy in
those simple moments can be the most incredibly beautiful experience. And so,
with all of this being said, I'm going to end the episode by putting out a
challenge to us all. We are a few days away from Thanksgiving, and I think it
would be such a great idea to go beyond the feast, beyond the journal,
and partake in a 30 -day Gratitude for Joy Challenge. So, what I'm going to do is
I'm going to post an image to my socials, and It's going to be 30 boxes and I'll
include the link in the show notes too for anyone who's not on social media, but
I'd really love for you to go and check this image out. It's going to give you 30
ways to practice your gratitude or 30 things to think about to exude gratitude for
yourself and one for each day of the next month. Save the post, share the post and
Every time you complete a day, I would love for you to post it on your socials,
show the world what you're doing in terms of your gratitude, and then tag the
joyful flamingo in it so that we can get others on board and create kind of this
idea of a tsunami of extended gratitude after the Thanksgiving holiday. I don't want
to give any of my ideas away right in this episode, so you're going to have to go
check out the post. Give it some love, share it with as many people as you can,
because Remember when we share our gratitude, it spreads happiness, it spreads love
and joy and positivity and the feeling that really we all need more of in our
lives. And some days, I'll be honest, are definitely going to be easier to share
than others, but lean in and at least do it for yourself, even if you don't share
any of it. And anytime you do share, I would love for you to use the
(upbeat music) - So are you with me? - Except my cordial invitation to a 30 day
gratitude challenge. - Let me guide you in a quick daily focus every day that will
allow you to zoom in on your gratitude with ease. And even if you only complete
five of the 30 days, isn't that five more days that you would be focusing on the
things that you're thankful for than you otherwise would have? And eventually, look
who knows, it may even become more second nature to you and soon enough maybe
you'll be habit stacking on top of your gratitude as the base rather than the other
way around. So flock, beyond the feast, beyond the journal,
thankfulness is a state of being and arguably one of the best things we can do for
ourselves is continuously and purposefully bring ourselves back to an attitude of
gratitude. Enjoy your Thanksgiving weekends coming up. I am wishing you such a joyful
time with the ones who mean the most to you. And I truly mean it when I say I
am grateful for each and every single one of you. You know I say that at the end
of each episode but today I'm choosing to notice. I'm leaning into that thought.
I'm grateful for your ears, for your hearts. I'm grateful for your attention,
for your trust and your laughs and your tears. I'm grateful you're wanting to be on
this journey with me in the first place and I am so grateful for your joy. Thank
you for being part of this joyful Flamingo Flock. Until next time.
Just a reminder, go flock that I am not a medical or psychological professional.
Each one of my episodes has been inspired by my own experience and journey through
life and has brought to you through my own opinions and lens. Any suggestions or
advice offered here do not substitute proper conversations with your own health care
professionals for either your physical or mental well -being.